Heidi Van Herweghe and Karen Deflo were working together in the HR department of a company when, just days apart in 2014, they both received the devastating diagnosis of breast cancer. The shock of their diagnoses and the rollercoaster of treatments that followed brought them even closer. Today, they no longer work together, but their bond remains strong.
“While showering, I felt a lump in my breast and immediately booked an appointment with my GP,” Karen begins. “When I heard the word ‘cancer,’ it felt like stepping onto a rollercoaster with no idea where it would lead or when I’d be able to get off. I was part of a small team of six women in HR, and I shared the news about the lump with my colleagues right away.”
Heidi continues: “Because of Karen’s experience, I became extra alert. A few days later, I discovered a lump the size of a marble in my own breast. I immediately called the radiologist and found out the very next day that it was bad news. Ironically, it’s thanks to Karen’s story that I discovered my cancer so quickly. I’m still incredibly grateful to her for that.”
Support From Someone Who Truly Understood
“For me, it was such a gift not to have to go through the entire process alone,” says Heidi. “Karen and I didn’t have the exact same type of breast cancer, and our treatments were different, but still.” Karen explains: “At the start, Heidi had chemo on Mondays and I had mine on Thursdays. On Monday mornings, I’d send her a message wishing her luck, knowing she’d need space afterwards because chemo hit her hard. By Wednesday, we’d check in, and on Thursday, it was my turn for treatment.
There was no one who understood how I felt better than Heidi. We gave each other so much support. Cancer has a huge mental impact, and honestly, I found that part even harder than the physical side.” Heidi agrees: “Whenever I was scared or had to go through frightening exams, I often thought, ‘Come on, Karen has already done this too.’ It helped me feel less alone.”
Blogging Together With Colleagues
The news that two colleagues—only 37 and 40 years old—were diagnosed with cancer at the same time hit their workplace like a bombshell. Their team decided to start a blog to keep both women updated and connected. Karen: “We were both out for a full year, so it was nice to stay in touch and keep up with what was happening.” Heidi adds: “It wasn’t only about cancer. We didn’t want it to become a place for complaints. We wanted the blog to be something positive that gave us energy. Of course, we were also honest when things were tough.”
Karen: “We’re both positive people. I probably needed the connection with our colleagues even more than Heidi.” Heidi nods: “I retreated more into my circle of family and friends. But we were both determined to fight. We even went together to Rosette la Vedette’s pop-up shop because we wanted to fight in style. Trying on hats and scarves together was a fun, uplifting moment.”
Not the Same People After Treatment
“During treatment, we stayed in close contact. ‘Do you also have that horrible taste in your mouth?’ ‘Can you manage to eat?’ ‘How do I apply for that reimbursement?’ We could turn to each other for everything,” says Heidi. After a year away, they returned to work on the exact same day. Heidi: “We brought treats for our colleagues to thank them for their support.”
Karen: “Our desks were decorated with balloons. It was such a beautiful moment. But you’re not the same person—or colleague—you were before cancer. Having Heidi there made my return so much easier. She knew my energy level wasn’t what it used to be.” Heidi: “Karen being in the same situation helped me set boundaries. She started gradually, which made it easier for me to do the same.”
Learning to Slow Down After Breast Cancer
“I look back on my cancer journey with gratitude,” Heidi concludes. “I’m so thankful for the support of my family and friends. When you’re feeling terrible after chemo and your neighbour brings over a meal for you and your family, it’s just incredible. Alongside all the messages and cards, those practical gestures make such a huge difference. Now, I try to make more conscious time for others. And I’ve learned to slow down. Before, I packed my calendar full of activities. Now, I always keep a little extra energy in reserve—just in case.”
[Interview: Spring 2021]
Curious about even more stories like this interview with Heidi and Karen? You can read them all in our Personal Stories section >>
