Over the past few weeks, in Belgium, we have once again been confronted with several stories about cancer. Young Belgian cyclist Jilke Michielsen passed away at just 19 years old as a result of bone cancer. Martine Prenen lost her battle with pancreatic cancer. Margriet Hermans announced that she had been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. And singer Kylie Minogue recently revealed that she quietly experienced a recurrence in 2021.
If you have cancer or have had cancer, you know that news like this hits differently. It's not just another news story. It touches something deep inside you. Perhaps because you recognise part of your own experience in their story. Perhaps because it brings back memories of a difficult period. Or perhaps because it confronts you with fears that never completely disappear.
Why does it affect you so deeply?
When cancer has become part of your life, you look at these stories differently. You don't read them as an outsider. You often feel them on a much more personal level. Perhaps they bring you back to your own diagnosis. To treatments that were difficult. To follow-up appointments that still make you anxious. Or to questions that no one can answer with complete certainty.
It is therefore perfectly normal for news about a death, a recurrence or a new diagnosis to trigger feelings such as:
- fear of the future
- sadness and helplessness
- uncertainty about your own health
- anger because cancer feels so unfair
- guilt because you are able to move forward while someone else no longer can
Whatever you are feeling, it is valid.
You don't always have to be strong
Perhaps you try to reassure yourself. Perhaps you tell yourself to stay positive or not to let other people's stories affect you too much. But emotions don't simply disappear because you push them away. Sadness needs space. Fear does too.
You don't always have to be strong. You don't always have to be the brave patient, the optimistic survivor or the strong partner. Sometimes it is enough to honestly admit that a story has affected you.
Protect yourself from an overload of news
Through social media and news websites, we are constantly exposed to stories about illness, loss and recurrence. Sometimes it can feel impossible to escape them. Do you notice that it is becoming too much? Then it is perfectly okay to take a step back.
- Put your phone away for a while.
- Skip certain news stories if you feel you don't have the emotional space for them today.
- Avoid endlessly scrolling through comments on social media.
- Be intentional about when and how often you follow the news.
You don't have to read everything. You don't have to stay informed about everything. Taking care of yourself is not a sign of weakness. It is a form of self-protection.
Your story is not their story
This may be the hardest thing to remember. When someone passes away from a cancer similar to yours, or when you hear that someone has experienced a recurrence, your mind often starts making comparisons automatically. "What if that happens to me too?", "Didn't I have the same diagnosis?", "What does this mean for me?",...
But your story is not their story. Every cancer is different. Every treatment is different. Every body responds differently.
The news you read says nothing about your future, no matter how difficult that may be to believe at times. Try to remind yourself that your doctors assess your situation based on your medical history, your treatment and your recovery process — not someone else's.
Reach out and connect
You don't have to carry these feelings on your own. Talk to someone you trust. A partner, a friend, a family member or someone who has been through a similar experience. Often, simply putting your feelings into words can bring relief.
Sometimes you don't need solutions. Sometimes it is enough for someone to understand why a news story affects you so deeply. Especially during difficult moments, human connection can make a world of difference.
Don't forget the stories of hope
Alongside the stories that make us sad, there are also thousands of stories of people living with cancer, recovering, enjoying small moments of happiness and making plans for the future again. Those stories don't always make the headlines. But they are there.
Hope does not mean that everything will definitely be okay. Hope means that despite all the uncertainty, beautiful moments are still possible.
A walk in the sunshine. A meaningful conversation. A hug from someone you love. A day when cancer is not at the centre of everything. Sometimes that is exactly where hope lives.
Be gentle with yourself
If bad news about others affected by cancer touches you deeply, know that this is completely human. You are not reacting because you are weak. You are reacting because you understand what cancer can do to a person's life.
Give yourself time to process these stories. Feel what you feel. Talk about it when you need to. And take a break when it all becomes too much.
And above all, remember this: Your story is not written by the news you read. Your story is written every day by the steps you take, at your own pace, in your own way.
How do you cope with news about others affected by cancer? Feel free to share your experience in the comments. You may help someone who is struggling with the same feelings today.
Leave a comment
All comments are moderated before being published.
This site is protected by hCaptcha and the hCaptcha Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.