During pregnancy, your focus is on one thing: that tiny baby who will soon take up all your attention. And rightly so! But for some new moms, things turn out differently. For Joanna and Lilian, both customers of Rosette la Vedette, the pink baby cloud was replaced by a dark cancer cloud. How did they cope with their cancer diagnosis as young mothers? How did they care for their baby and themselves during treatment? Time for a double interview about the best and worst moments life brought them.
Lumps in the breast and armpit
Joanna Helmonds (33) from Prinsenbeek noticed that her right breast felt tense during her second pregnancy. At first, she wasn’t too worried, but after her mother-in-law’s advice, she went to the doctor. He felt lumps in her breast and armpit but thought they were cysts. An ultrasound revealed something more serious. Joanna: “It was quickly decided I would deliver at 37 weeks so I could start the necessary tests as soon as possible. Scans aren’t safe during pregnancy.”
We got a weekend to get to know our baby, and then I had to go straight to the hospital for appointments. (Joanna)
Barely any post-birth bliss
“Despite the uncertain circumstances and induced labor, the birth went exactly as we’d hoped. It was a water birth, and I look back on it very positively,” Joanna recalls. But the bliss was short-lived. “We got a weekend to bond with our baby, then I had to go straight to the hospital for tests. Because of a PET scan with radioactive material, I wasn’t allowed near my children for fourteen hours. That was intense.”
The results confirmed the worst: “I had the most aggressive form of breast cancer—but thankfully, no metastases.”
New mom in survival mode
Lilian Van der Kooi (31) lives in a small village in North Holland. “My second child was born in July 2019. I didn’t breastfeed, but I had engorgement in my left breast for two weeks. I didn’t worry at first—it could’ve been an inflamed gland. But when I went to my doctor a few weeks later, she wanted to run tests.”
In early September, Lilian was diagnosed with breast cancer. “The ground disappeared beneath me. The pink baby cloud was gone. All our plans fell apart. Still, I tried to limit the negative thoughts. My survival mode kicked in immediately.”
Your body gives you something so beautiful, then burdens you with something so cruel. That’s hard to accept. (Lilian)
Breast milk for research
Joanna also had to start chemo right away, which isn’t compatible with breastfeeding. “Breastfeeding was important to me, so I decided to keep my milk production going during treatment. That way, I could nurse my baby once chemo was over. I managed to do it, and it gave me such joy.”
Because there’s little research on chemo’s effect on breast milk, Joanna participated in a scientific study. She donated her pumped milk during treatment in hopes of helping others. “It gave me a real sense of purpose and positive energy.”
A baby and cancer: the best and the worst
The contrast was overwhelming, the women explain. Joanna: “The love and happiness you feel as a mom versus the fear you face—it’s so hard to reconcile.”
Lilian adds, “Your body brings something so beautiful into the world, then immediately burdens you with the worst thing. It’s not something you can easily accept.”
Strength during chemo
Her baby gave Joanna the strength she needed, especially during chemo. “I had to get out of bed and care for my baby. When I felt awful, I tried to push through.”
Focusing on her own recovery was harder. “I kept going until my body forced me to stop. I got severe migraines—that’s when I finally started resting during the day.”
Thinking ‘half empty’ doesn’t help during tough times. I always look for the good, even in bad news. (Joanna)
Support during treatment
Lilian also struggled to rest. “My kids needed me—they’re so little. Luckily, I’m slowly regaining energy. During my toughest chemo sessions, family members were always there to help. Between chemo and sleepless nights, it was brutal. My husband handles the nighttime feedings, which helps since I struggle to fall back asleep.”
Joanna’s husband was her rock. “He supported me completely when I wanted to keep pumping milk. Others said, ‘Just stop, it’s too hard.’ He never did. And our parents were amazing too.” Joanna also relied on her positive mindset: “Focusing on the negative doesn’t help. I make a conscious effort to find the good, even in bad news.”
We live more in the moment now and appreciate life. Sometimes I think people complain too much about little things. (Lilian)
Mom without hair
Joanna’s oldest daughter is four. “She knows mommy’s breast is sick. When I went bald, she was fascinated—she thinks I’m funny without a wig. She even says I look beautiful bald!” Joanna loves wearing Rosette la Vedette hats. “The prints are gorgeous, and they’re so comfortable. My daughter likes to sneakily pull them off and giggle.”
Lilian’s three-year-old is very sensitive. “He sometimes had tantrums when I was feeling unwell or after chemo. That was tough, but he’s doing great. He discovered my hair loss himself when he accidentally pulled out a clump. I explained that my hair was sick and would take time to get better.”
Cancer also changed Lilian and her husband. “We live more in the moment now. I sometimes think others complain too much about trivial things,” she laughs.
Life after breast cancer
Lilian is slowly returning to her hobbies like bullet journaling, puzzles, and crafts. “They clear my head. I also walk and bike more.” She stays connected with women she met during chemo. “It’s so comforting to talk to people who truly understand. I don’t need to explain a thing.”
Joanna started a vegetable garden during the pandemic. “I couldn’t see friends or family during treatment for distraction, which was really hard. The garden became my outlet.”
Lilian also kept working part-time during chemo. “It was the right choice for me. It got me out of the house, gave me a break from being ‘just mom,’ and gave me more to talk about with my husband. My employer was incredibly supportive and flexible.”
